Civility Blog

Many times when we speak to each other one will say something that another will take offense at. Such occurred when Radio Talk Show Host Don Imus called the players on the Rutgers University women’s basketball team “nappy headed hos.”

Civility matters and when we don’t follow civil rules of engagement, we can cause hurt on the other side. Sometimes one asks for forgiveness, as Imus later did.

But if you read the article, you’ll see an interesting question posed by Gregory Lee, an NABJ officer and senior assistant sports editor at The Boston Globe. He said the mea culpa did little to atone for the comments. “You can apologize, but what does that mean when you have a history of making disparaging remarks about people?” Lee asked about the acid-tongued Imus.

This is a good question. Once the hurtful words are spoken, their long-term effect on individuals or a whole society cannot be controlled.

And if one apologizes for one’s remark but then does not change one’s behavior, is the apology real?

Civility matters…..and the sooner we all learn to live in a world of civil engagement, the better off we will all be.

The news media has reported that through diplomatic efforts the United States, Russia, Japan, China, South Korea and North Korea have come to an agreement over the North Korean nuclear weapons program. The North Koreans have agreed to dismantle their nuclear weapons program in exchange for oil and a willingness to develop better relationships with their neighbors.People say that talking is easy. But is it really?

For years we have been hearing about the build up of North Korea’s nuclear program. For years we have been trying to dialogue to bring a stop to this program, and in the past promises have been broken.

Talking with another who does not share your perspective is not all that easy. If it was, wouldn’t this agreement have come much sooner? While there are admittedly many factors at play, I imagine someone involved in these conversations must have made a statement or two that really made sense to the “other side” in order for both sides to come to an agreement.

May progress and resolution continue to happen in all the conversations where we find disagreements.

May more of us learn that the art of growing together is better than living separately and calling each other names.�