Many times when we speak to each other one will say something that another will take offense at. Such occurred when Radio Talk Show Host Don Imus called the players on the Rutgers University women’s basketball team “nappy headed hos.”
Civility matters and when we don’t follow civil rules of engagement, we can cause hurt on the other side. Sometimes one asks for forgiveness, as Imus later did.
But if you read the article, you’ll see an interesting question posed by Gregory Lee, an NABJ officer and senior assistant sports editor at The Boston Globe. He said the mea culpa did little to atone for the comments. “You can apologize, but what does that mean when you have a history of making disparaging remarks about people?” Lee asked about the acid-tongued Imus.
This is a good question. Once the hurtful words are spoken, their long-term effect on individuals or a whole society cannot be controlled.
And if one apologizes for one’s remark but then does not change one’s behavior, is the apology real?
Civility matters…..and the sooner we all learn to live in a world of civil engagement, the better off we will all be.
Ann Coulter, commentator and author, is famous not only for her opinions, but for the way she expresses them. She has stirred up controversy once again, and for that very reason - not the position that she took, necessarily, but the way she stated it when she referred to presidential candidate John Edwards as a “faggot”. It created a firestorm of media coverage, including CNN and FOX News as but two examples.Ann is not the only commentator known for a brash and uncivil tone. People with similar styles are found on both sides of the political aisle. One commentator pointed out that while Ann is frequently sited by Democrats for her uncivil tone, Republicans could charge Bill Maher with many of the same kind of uncivil comments.
While some people may think that those who are concerned about language that labels and taunts are simply too uptight - and need to just get over it - we are among those who believe that words are formative, and we all need to be careful how they are used. What one person understands merely as free and strong expression of opinion, never to be acted on outside of a voting booth, others may take to be permission or rationale for more than mere verbal attack.
And one wonders - on both sides of the aisle - does being outrageous increase credibility, or merely drown out the sound of reasoned discussion? Maybe drowning out the voice of reasoned discussion is the whole point. Either way, it is cause for concern.
The Institute is grateful to be a part of a larger synergy that is steadily growing in this country - a synergy for all of us to rediscover, reclaim, and rejoice in true community. Part of that synergy was made visible in late February when Stillman College hosted a 4 day conference examining the history and use of the “n-word”. As reported by CNN - Organizers said the goal of the event is to challenge the use of the n-word “through the use of intelligent dialogue and a thorough examination of black history.” Seehttp://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/24/nword.conference.ap/index.html?eref=rss_topstories
The Stillman Conference is part of a larger conversation taking place on this subject among recording artists, city councils, educators, the media, and members of Congress. A website, http://www.abolishthenword.com/, is dedicated to this cause as well.
We are grateful for any serious conversation that seeks to educate, heighten awareness, and work for change in language and actions that have caused incalculable loss, pain and damage through the years. Understanding that words are formative and often take on a life of their own is essential to civility. We must choose our words at the deepest level of caring.